Reinvention

My sister ran into my ex fiance on campus of my alma mater last week. She texted me to ask if I thought he would still be in school. I said yes, I believed so, since I recently saw that he was listed as graduation in 2010 on a social networking site. She quickly responded that she had seen him and he acted as if he didnt really recognize her. I told her he was probably pretending.


Its amazing how time heals all wounds; now I am almost incredulous that I actually loved this man. He dragged me into his sad, depressing, dark world and I was so lost when I left it that I had forgotten about the light. It was like being bipolar: together we experienced the highest highs and the lowest lows. I needed medication. After we were free of each other, I experienced a reinvention that I recommend to everyone at least once in a lifetime. I, for once in my life, felt limitless.

I lost the 20 lbs I put on while trying to eat my feelings during our year and a half together and returned to my original svelte size. Armed with a new found sense of self--and the somehow seductive aura of grief and rage that I possessed--I set out to do some damage of my own. I dated and dumped 8 guys during a 4 month span (luckily, most of them still speak to me). I wore my first bikini in public and made it a point to count how many eyes I could catch. I had a man show up at my apartment at midnight in tears, begging me to come back to him while I was on the phone with my next target. I modeled. I flirted. I smiled. I even seduced his best friend. I had discovered that mystical power that the pretty girls in my classes seemed to possess that I just couldn't understand--beauty tied with confidence and sprinkled liberally with sensuality. I was hot.