Exfoliating

[Training log: Ran 2 miles today with Sonny. Swam 650m yesterday. Biked 8 miles, ran 2 on Sunday. Monday ran 4.4. Tuesday did nothing]


Exfoliating
She greets me with a smile,
and asks me to sit.
She asks whats on my mind,
and asks me to speak.
She acts like she hears me,
and asks me to repeat.
She says she understands,
and asks me to grow.
She tells me to exfoliate,
and asks me to let go.
She says I need to rub off,
and asks me to debride.
She says let go of the past,
and asks me to cry.
She tells me to be strong,
and asks me to try.
I tell her I'm unsure,
I really dont know how.
She says to make a list,
and asks me to write down.
She says to compare,
she asks to contrast.

I sit, I write.....
and suddenly
there is smoothness
on a tiny patch of past.

For Jen

So Jennifer made a comment about how I dont update my blog often enough. She's right. But I never know what to write. I dont know if I can be as honest and open in cyberspace as she is with her pre-conception experiences. There are a lot of things about me that I dont feel comfortable telling the world. Like, for instance, not every day of my marriage is roses and fluffy bunnies. Some days I want to strangle my husband and feed his entrails to crocodiles. Some days my mother/my job/my dog/my extended family/etc makes me so mad I want to launch grenades. But how can I write this without later regretting it? (For instance, this week with Sonny has been great. We've had a blast and done a lot of activities together. But some weeks are terrible.) I know he reads my blog, I know other people read it (even if they dont comment). What if I hurt someone's feelings?
How do I expose myself thusly without being too exposed?
Therefore, I write the mundane clutter of my life in hopes that the juicy pieces will remain in my head while not threatening to drive me insane. But, maybe Im wrong...so here goes. A little honesty:


Things I HATE
1. Stupid girls (esp drunk ones)
2. Stupid girls who are my age who make me look bad because we share a birthyear
3. Skanks who hit on married men
4. Racism
5. Utah hypocrisy and close-mindedness
6. Utah Hairstyles
7. Pretty much all things Utah
8. Being controlled or told what to do
9. Eggplant (random, I know)
10. People who try to set my husband up with their daughters, knowing full well he is MARRIED
11. Beige walls.
12. Being told [constantly!!!] how lucky I am to be married to my husband (Duh, I know!!)
13. Being wrong (which I hardly ever am)
14. Old people who have fast cars and drive the speed limit
15. XBOX
16. Fake girls, like the ones I knew in high school. You know who you are, bitches.
17. The greasy-haired guys and nasty old men who leer at me.
18. Men who try to pick up on me even though I repeatedly raise my left hand in front of them.
19. Not being respected
20. The toilet seat being up.

Training Log

I ran 4.2 miles today. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!?!?!?!?!? I worked up to a little over 3 miles the last two weeks. I am so proud of myself.  Ok so I had to walk some of it because there are giant hills in my neighborhood. I still dont feel ready for the tri, but at least I'm working on it. I'm going to spin class tommorrow and going to try to fit in a few laps in the pool afterwards. 

Our house plans are going well. The contract has been signed so we are just waiting on the mortgage to come through and us to be able to close. 

My stepdad posted a funny video on YouTube of him collecting Easter eggs that my mom hid for him. Amazing that she would do it for him and never for Luisa and I. I heard her in the background when I was talking to him on the phone bragging to my aunt "He was the first to give my kids candies. I never gave them candy." I can see her face make that look of disgust as she talks about sweets. I understand wanting your kids to be healthy, but eschewing all the normal American traditions-- Easter egg hunts ("what do eggs have to do with the Resurrection?"), Halloween trick-or-treating (Halloween in general. "Thats evil"), Santa Claus ("He doesnt exist.")-- has nothing to do with making your kids make better choices about food. 

I know its ridiculous, but I was so annoyed when I saw that video. She didnt understand why people do those things for holidays here therefore we werent allowed. I colored Easter Eggs once at a friends house. I went trick-or-treating ONCE when I was 8 years old and I had to beg. I knew Santa didnt exist because my presents were proportional to the amount of money my mom/parents had and so my haul was usually less than my friends, even though I was "good". (Sidebar: my mother justifies us not believing in Santa Claus because she wanted to avoid the whole good=more presents equation since we never had a lot of money and she didnt want me to think I was bad. I get that...still, it takes the mystery out of it all when you are a little kid and you dont leave cookies out or write a letter to Santa. You hand your wish list to your parents.)

My kids are going to have baskets and egg hunts with so much candy they wont have anywhere to put it. At Halloween I will demand a minimum 3 pound haul of which I will take 50% (like any good business owner :) ). Why have kids if not to dress them up in cute outfits and let your neighbors give them the best candy of which you can have your pick with minimal effort?