So Jennifer made a comment about how I dont update my blog often enough. She's right. But I never know what to write. I dont know if I can be as honest and open in cyberspace as she is with her pre-conception experiences. There are a lot of things about me that I dont feel comfortable telling the world. Like, for instance, not every day of my marriage is roses and fluffy bunnies. Some days I want to strangle my husband and feed his entrails to crocodiles. Some days my mother/my job/my dog/my extended family/etc makes me so mad I want to launch grenades. But how can I write this without later regretting it? (For instance, this week with Sonny has been great. We've had a blast and done a lot of activities together. But some weeks are terrible.) I know he reads my blog, I know other people read it (even if they dont comment). What if I hurt someone's feelings?
How do I expose myself thusly without being too exposed?
Therefore, I write the mundane clutter of my life in hopes that the juicy pieces will remain in my head while not threatening to drive me insane. But, maybe Im wrong...so here goes. A little honesty:
Things I HATE
1. Stupid girls (esp drunk ones)
2. Stupid girls who are my age who make me look bad because we share a birthyear
3. Skanks who hit on married men
4. Racism
5. Utah hypocrisy and close-mindedness
6. Utah Hairstyles
7. Pretty much all things Utah
8. Being controlled or told what to do
9. Eggplant (random, I know)
10. People who try to set my husband up with their daughters, knowing full well he is MARRIED
11. Beige walls.
12. Being told [constantly!!!] how lucky I am to be married to my husband (Duh, I know!!)
13. Being wrong (which I hardly ever am)
14. Old people who have fast cars and drive the speed limit
15. XBOX
16. Fake girls, like the ones I knew in high school. You know who you are, bitches.
17. The greasy-haired guys and nasty old men who leer at me.
18. Men who try to pick up on me even though I repeatedly raise my left hand in front of them.
19. Not being respected
20. The toilet seat being up.
2 comments:
So glad you updated! Yes, I'm very open, I'm not sure why, maybe because I'm not afraid to hurt feelings... Maybe because I try to write the good and the bad.
But girl, everyone experiences those "I hate you" moments, yes, even with our spouses.
It would annoy the heck out of me to if everyone told me how lucky I was to marry my husband, it's like "yea, but he's LUCKIER!"
I love your poems and writing by the way, speak our mind girl! It can be exhilarating!! And if need be.. make the blog private and only allow me to read, haha!!
Good ideas..
I know right? Sometimes i feel guilty for feeling that way about him, but other times I'm think to myself "You are lucky to even be alive right now...."
Sonny is the apple of his mother's eye and she brags about him to everyone. So, naturally, other people think he's great too. Therefore I end up being the "lucky one". I love him and I do feel lucky, but its a little like living in the shadow of a much-loved, multi-talented older sibling sometimes.
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